By Alice Evans
I really regret not getting my act together well enough to watch I Used To Be Famous before Lucy
and I sat down with Leo and met with the Netflix team to talk about the film.
Not because I could’ve had more to say in the recording (not having enough to say is rarely a problem for me) but because since I watched it, this movie has kept creeping back into my mind.
There’s something compelling about the name of this movie, “I used to be famous”, a phrase that
evokes ideas about being seen, being the centre of attention, being watched and looked at, that
resonates for me as a disabled person and felt very in-keeping with a lot of the things that I’ve heard
and read in the past about the experiences of autistic people; their experience of standing out, being
noticed people, thinking they are different. But without the positive connotations of fame and
success.
Although I’m not autistic myself I have definitely experienced ‘being noticed for being different
the phenomenon that the title calls to. So, I found the way filmmaker Eddie Sternberg has used Vince’s
desire to regain his fame and get back to a position of being noticed as an allegory for the way
society sees and looks at disabled people thought-provoking.
The way that this story unfolds, with Vince’s initial desire to be famous again moving slowly into an
appreciation for Stevie and what he brings to the table as an individual and as an autistic person got
me reflecting on my own journey to accepting and appreciating my own disabled identity.
In many ways, we all want to be seen, but there is a distinct difference between that and the disabled
experience of being looked at. For many of us being in the spotlight means strangers in the street
gawping, people making assumptions about our abilities or seeing us as a different, alien species
because our needs are different from the general population.
When the movie begins ‘being famous’ means happiness and success to Vince, the opening scenes
where he goes out on stage to screaming, adoring fans; the world is at his feet. But as we dive
deeper into his story, as time jumps us back and forth into the behind-the-scenes truth of that time
in his life, where he was pressured by the record company into extending tour dates in lieu of visiting
his dying brother, as well as his lingering, bitter desperation to claw his way back into the spotlight,
we begin to see what being famous really means. That it’s about being watched, an object for others
to look at – a concept that feels incredibly familiar to me as a disabled person, when people see my
assistance dog instead of me, or the way disabled stories I see on TV are all about pitiable characters
overcoming their conditions to become champions of their own lives and health. Spotlight to me
means being singled out for being different or being expected to contort me and my identity to
fit the expectations and requirements of others.
Although in many ways I Used To Be Famous is about Vince, a non-disabled man’s story, his relationship
with Stevie, the vital role that Stevie plays in challenging Vince’s perceptions of his own ambition
and identity, really cements this movie as a disabled person’s film for me. The casting of someone
who actually identifies as autistic in the role of an autistic character is an instant challenge to the
incorrect and offensive representations and characterizations that usually populate stories with
disabled characters. And Stevie’s own gently built-up confidence and independence is a quietly
comforting and reassuring tale for those amongst us who have felt fearful of the outside, whilst also
feeling isolated inside.
I won’t say this is the best movie I’ve ever seen, but it is an uplifting, feel-good story about disability
and difference at its heart. I’d have loved to have more, an exploration of Amber, Stevie’s mum’s
own isolation and withdrawal from the thing that she once loved, her own experience of being on
stage; and some depth to Vince’s tense and baggage-laden relationship with his own mother, but for
what we have been given I think I Used To Be Famous is powerful but understated, with a message
that means a lot to me.
Watch ‘I Used to be Famous’ on Netflix now!
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